Lets decipher these statements made by the suffragettes in the image above:
‘People remembered the militant attacks on houses and the hunger strikes and believed that it would return if the suffragettes were ignored. This was a very strong reason for the parliament to give women the vote’ (Sylvia Pankhurst). As we can see, parliament only gave women the vote because they were scared of violent attacks upon them. The ‘strong reason’ for the parliament to uplift the ban on women voting wasn’t because they saw women as deserving of human rights, and as equals to men – no, it was because these men were scared of being on the receiving end of violence.
So the ban on women voting was lifted because men didn’t want to get hurt. It’s important to remember that.
The second quote is ‘We have tried every which way, but we have had contempt poured upon us. Violence is the only way that we have to get the power that every citizen should have’ (Emmeline Pankhurst). This shows that men don’t want women to have rights.
Men think women should only have rights when it would be in men’s best interests to (ie to avoid being physically hurt). So nothing to do with doing what is right by women. It’s important to remember that.
We find ourselves in 2017 with women’s rights still being taken away by men of each generation. It doesn’t get better with every generation. We are still fighting our men for basic human rights each generation.
The fact that men are holding women hostage by taking rights away is terrifying. The fact that men have made themselves so powerful that they can take away rights is astounding. It’s so normal in our society for men to be the deciders of if women get rights or not – instead of us being shocked that men are so powerful in the first place that they even have the power to give or take rights.
Every generation of men spend hours of time thinking, writing, editing, lobbying, and discussing how to take women’s basic human rights away. These men spend their working hours, their life, finding ways to take away any power away from women.
The fact men think they own women, and that men can decide the power they have over women is shocking.
Why are men in each generation trying to take away women’s rights?
Why do men do this? Why do men hate women so much they spend hours, days, weeks, months, years of their energy doing whatever they can to strip women of their human rights? Women don’t do this. So why do men? Why do men hate women so much they devote their time to taking women down?
It is hatred and disrespect for women as people. Men want women to be dis empowered to they can use us as slaves for their benefit.
If you don’t agree with either of these explanations, what could the reason be?
Every generation of men spend hours of time thinking, writing, editing, lobbying, and discussing how to take women’s basic human rights away. These men spend their working hours, their life, finding ways to take away any power over themselves that women have. The fact men think they own women that men can decide the power they have over women is shocking.
The time has come to fight back
As the title suggests – and it’s unfortunate, but there comes a time in each woman’s life, that she finally comes to realise that men have no respect for her – that men don’t want her to have rights. Peaceful marching, asking politely, campaigning, calling, lobbying, collecting signatures is not going to secure her rights. Nothing will. Because even if she campaigns for something now, it can easily be taken away by any man at any time and in future generations.
But does violence work in a group or individual level?
Maria J. Stephan & Erica Chenoweth explain in “International Security”“Our findings show that major nonviolent campaigns have achieved success 53% of the time, compared with 26% for violent resistance campaigns. There are two reasons for this success. First, a campaign’s commitment to nonviolent methods enhances its domestic and international legitimacy and encourages more broad-based participation in the resistance, which translates into increased pressure being brought to bear on the target. Second, whereas governments easily justify violent counterattacks against armed insurgents, regime violence against nonviolent movements is more likely to backare against the regime,”
So lets look at the options for women:
We know that men only respond to violence. However we also know that every generation of men will take away any gains women make. So there is no point in committing violent acts in a large scale way – even though the suffragettes did, and it worked.
Violence against men on a large scale wouldn’t work. It would make most women turn towards men more, because women without power try to align themselves with men who have power. Men would take away women’s rights and people would think it’s more justified than they do now. Men would use it to their advantage and they would win the war on women.
Could the solution be that women try to recruit at least 50% of the female population to run amok, not bow to patriarchy in non violent ways? For example:
- Refuse to marry. Men depend on women marrying because it benefits men on several levels. (Next month’s post is about how women do not benefit from marriage, but men do).
- If already married – change your surname back to your maiden name and demand your husband change their and your children’s last names to your maiden name. If husband refuses to change his name to the maiden name, or refuses to let you change your children’s names, threaten divorce. You will unfortunately find out soon enough your husband doesn’t love you enough to stay with you if you’re not going to be submissive to him. He feels entitled to own you and brand you with his name but won’t stand for you to brand him with your name. He sees you as less than him.
- If single – refuse to settle. If you are on a date and the guy says something sexist, don’t smile, don’t try to act nice, don’t try to explain. Tell them that you don’t date men that hate women. Get up and leave. Block them. Do not respond.
- If already married – refuse to do more of your fair share (half) of the emotional labour in your relationship.
- If already married – refuse to do more of your fair share (half) of the housework labour in your relationship.
- If already married – refuse to do more of your fair share (half) of the childcare labour in your relationship. That includes any time that is spent driving to pick up the children etc.
The problem with this is, sisterhood has been destroyed by patriarchy. This article ‘How they broke our Grandmothers’ is an excellent overview of how over generations, men made it their mission to destroy the sacred feminine link that we all have with other women. By breaking this link, making things scarce, creating competition, and spreading lies about women’s nature to young girls so they grow up believing men-made lies about women, has damaged our DNA. So many women won’t want to do this and will want to align with and submit to men. Even if it means they are subject to abuse, being used and disrespected.
Men did this on purpose. Generation after generation. Amazing when you think about it. The conniving evil in these men to think of this and carry it out. Amazing.
If you’ve seen the Suffragettes movie you will see that the main character has a good relationship with her husband until she says she wants equal rights. Then he throws her out of the house, denies her access to her son and gives their son away. I think it’s important for women to see this and think about it. Think about your situation and how the man that says he loves you only loves you most probably because you submit to what he wants. If you don’t submit and want equality with him, it’s likely he will discard and destroy you.
I do not condone violence against innocent members of the public or against one gender. We shouldn’t lower ourselves to men’s level of hating all women and punishing all women by attacking, using and abusing them. However I think it’s time to fight back on an individual level against abusers.
Most women’s rights campaigns try to appeal to the human side of men in power. Which is where they get it all wrong. Often a man in power does not have the part of the brain capacity to be able to care about other people other than himself and people like him (ie other men). So the only way to get men in power on our side is to appeal to how much is being saved by ridding society of abusive men who are costing us millions in caring for battered women, in court costs, in jail costs that men accrue when they assault, maim and murder women. So if trying to appeal to most men, use the money angle. No point in trying to get them to care via emotive means. They only care about money. They don’t care about women.
It’s time for individual women to fight back with force when they are assaulted, battered, raped, sexually abused, if their child is sexually abused and so on.
Men depend on women being nice and not fighting back. Can you imagine what it would be like if in relationships when men punched their wife, that the wife killed him?
Can you imagine what it would be like if when a man rapes a woman’s child, she finds him and murders him?
I will give you personal examples of when I didn’t fight back and really regret it. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship with a man when I was in my early 20s. Because I had nice parents growing up and no one had ever explained to me what emotional abuse was, I didn’t see the signs and had no idea I was being emotionally abused. He anally raped me after I told him that I didn’t agree to anal sex. I then suffered issues for years after with rectum pain which can be debilitating. I regret that when he had finished raping me, I didn’t go to the kitchen, grab a knife and kill him. I was too nice. I cried and told him I hated him, but didn’t fight back. I didn’t hurt him, even though he had hurt me. Never again will I be nice and care about men when they hurt me. You shouldn’t either.
When I was a teenager, I arrived at my friend’s house for her birthday party. I walked into the lounge room with a friend and there were 2 guys sitting on the couch. I smiled and said hello. My friend who was hosting, was in the kitchen preparing the snacks. One of the guys got up from the couch, grabbed my arm and dragged me quickly into the bathroom and locked the door behind him. It happened so quickly. I got into a boxing position, without thinking about it. By then my friend was screaming outside the door and the girl who was hosting the party was yelling at him to open the door. We stood staring at each other for a few minutes. I was thinking that he’s going to rape me. I think he thought I knew boxing as I was in the boxing stance, which is why he decided to open the door. He was scared of getting hurt. Instead of anyone calling the police or me going into the kitchen, grabbing knife and killing him, we all stood around not quite sure what to do. I was shaking so the host took me into the bedroom to comfort me and he left. Never again will I be nice and care about men when they hurt me. You shouldn’t either. We never talked about it again.
Both of these men will surely go on to batter and rape numerous women because they know they can. Now I will fight back. And you should too.
That is just 2 of a dozen instances of sexual attacks I’ve endured by men I know and strangers in my 30 years. 99% of women have been sexually harassed, attacked or raped. Ask all the women around you and be true to yourself about your experiences.
I know it’s hard to admit the number of times you were sexually assaulted by men, but it’s important to be truthful to yourself and others to speak of the epidemic of male hatred and violence against women.
Women will often not admit to being sexually assaulted
I was talking to my friend and her brother about how myself and every woman I have talked to has been sexually assaulted at least once in their lifetime. I asked if she had ever been assaulted. She looked shocked and said ‘no!’ extremely fast. Her brother looked at her and frowned. He reminded her of the time that she was walking along a platform to meet him at a train station and he saw an old man grab her arse, hold it for a few seconds while she pushed him away, then laugh at her and slap her arse. The brother confronted the man and yelled at him, called the guard, and discussed it with the staff but nothing further was done. At the time she had brushed it off and said it was nothing, but her brother said they were sitting in the train and he could see her trembling.
This woman had just told me with force that she had not been sexually harassed or assaulted ever. Yet we have eye witnesses that she was, and she was negatively affected by it. So why is it so important for women to say that nothing bad has ever happened to them and/or it was nothing and brush it off?
I think it’s a coping mechanism. Otherwise we would be driven mad at men’s attitude and hatred for us. So God only knows how many other times she has been sexually assaulted if she won’t even admit the time that she was assaulted in front of her brother, was actually sexual assault. She couldn’t explain why it wasn’t sexual assault. She was more concerned about talking about something else, so I dropped it out of respect for her. This is not surprising with the way girls are socialised to let men get away with assaulting women, and women not talking about it or taking it seriously.
Many men will love hearing about me and other women being attacked and hurt by men. Many men enjoy hearing of women being raped, battered and murdered. In fact rape porn in India is highly sought after. And torture porn is one of the most searched for terms. Ladies – remember this when you find yourself up against men trying to silence you. Remember that they depend on you being silent, they would love to see you battered and raped at the bottom of a pit.
I think women can’t imagine how men could hate them so much, but all you have to do is remember how many women are killed, battered and raped all day every day, and the police, judges, media that support men to do this and support women being victim blamed. I don’t want to believe it either – but the evidence is there and too big to ignore.
Patriarchy depends on men being able to kill, maim and attack women with no recourse and no justice for the survivor. But what if we started fighting back and told our daughters, nieces, female cousins etc that it is ok to fight back if someone attacks you? Would society change? would men in power make changes that would make things better for women? or would our men make it so that women will get jailed for attacking men back?
It is justified to fight back against someone that is abusing you. You will be more satisfied ridding the world of yet another male abuser, than dealing with decades of abuse, vilification, and learning the justice system is set up to protect men and ensure they continue to abuse and kill women. That is men’s way of getting back at women…because of their internal hatred of us.
Men of course that are against this approach of women fighting back, are the type of men that are either abusers themselves, or they are men that know that men who beat, rape and kill women are maintaining the oppression of women, which assists these men to have unearned privilege. This is why when 70 or so women are murdered by men on average each year in Australia alone, it’s not a big deal, but if a woman dares fight back against her oppressor, it’s all over the news and remembered for decades.
Remember Lorena Bobbit – she was all over the news for years, for attacking her husband after years of abuse.
Remember Marissa Alexander who fired a warning shot in the air to scare off her abuse ex after he threatened to kill her and her children. She got a 20 year jail sentence
Remember Tang Hui who was sent to a hard labour camp for asking for a harsher penalty for the men who kidnapped, raped and prostituted her 11 year old daughter.
That is just 3 examples out of a million women who are punished all over the world for fighting back against male abuse.
Men attack, rape, maim, kill women all day everyday all over the world, but as soon as woman fights back, she is brought into the spotlight to show women everywhere that they dare not fight back, or look what happens. Even just ASKING for justice can land women in jail or abused by men. It didn’t stop at the suffragettes. If this isn’t proof that men want women silenced so they can do to us what they please with no consequences. Men protecting and supporting men to rape and abuse women.
Men attack, rape, maim, kill women all day everyday all over the world, but as soon as woman fights back, she is brought into the spotlight to show women everywhere that they dare not fight back, or look what happens: you will be ruined. Society will ruin you. Even just ASKING for justice can land women in jail or abused by men.
Men really don’t like it when women fight back against their abuse. That’s why I ask all women to do their upmost to fight back violently and kill if your life is in danger. We need to change the culture where men get attacked back, where they fear revenge. Where they don’t think they can just get away with anything with no consequences.
I know that feminists will be shocked at my calling to fight back – but I’m not calling for women to attack men that are doing nothing wrong or going about their daily business (like men attack women). I’m calling for women to fight back and kill men who are violating them and who are a danger to women. If you have a problem with that, you are trying to uphold the patriarchy, and you cannot call yourself a feminist. You are deep down on the side of men and care more for men’s safety and life than you care for women’s safety and life.
Let’s imagine a man is walking down the street and a guy attacks him, the victim fights back and the attacker dies. Most people would read that in the paper and think ‘oh dear, that victim was lucky’ but think nothing more of it. This is what I’m calling for: women if you get attacked in any way, fight back. If you don’t agree with that, then why aren’t you calling out and getting angry about men who fight back and kill their attackers?
I know that you won’t have many on your side because we live in a patriarchy and it’s important for the patriarchy to uphold the ‘right’ for men to attack women without consequences, but we can see that nothing will change.
We have campaigned for generations for men to be held to account, we have campaigned for women’s shelters, but governments keep taking away funding. Governments are refusing to fund rape kit testing, so that the rapists can remain free to keep attacking. What they are saying is that women are weak and worthless.
Lets change that. Fight back.
Remember, men are forcing us to do this as they are giving us no other option. Generations of women have asked nicely, have sacrificed their lives and time campaigning for funds to keep women safe and to save lives. But police, judges and governments are failing women – on purpose. Remember that. It was designed to destroy women. It’s not a mistake that the system is made this way.
Men and women who complain and think this is a bad idea: tell me – what do you propose? Do you hate women that much that you want women to sit quietly, be abused, battered, raped and killed whilst you ask nicely AGAIN for the hundredth time for funds to please help a refuge for battered women stay open? Do you want another rapist allowed to go out and rape as many women as he wants because you’re too scared to say to men that it’s enough and that women matter as much as men and women shouldn’t have to fear for their lives all day every day?
If you’re a woman: don’t pander. Don’t be nice. No more. Men hate you. Get it through your head. They want us submissive, battered and afraid. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for the next generation of girls. They deserve better. They deserve a society where the majority won’t be emotionally or physically abused by a family member or partner, where the majority will experience sexual harassment, assault, abuse or rape. Our future girls deserve better than a society where getting sexually assaulted or raped is expected.
Our future girls deserve to live in a society where men who rape and kill are jailed for life. Since this is not happening, we have to individually do our best to change the system. The system isn’t going to change no matter how many nice, peaceful, love filled marches we do. It won’t change no matter how many times we get angry at judges for letting men out to rape and kill again. Do your bit individually. If we all do our bit individually, then things will change.
Because men only change when they fear violence against themselves or other men. Yes, it would be nice if men cared about women, but you just have to accept they don’t, and get on with it.
Generations of women have asked nicely, have sacrificed their lives and time campaigning for funds to keep women safe and to save lives. But police, judges and governments are failing women – on purpose. Remember that. It was designed to destroy women. It’s not a mistake that the system is made this way.
Best of luck!
Next month’s blog is about how marriage benefits men at the expense of women